Stacey H. Langenbahn, J.D.*
"I was thirteen when my parents divorced. I still feel uncomfortable when they are in the same room together and they are now in their mid-seventies. Both support my efforts to help couples divorce on their own terms to preserve the family for the children. They independently told me they believe their relationship with each other and their children would be much better today if they had the opportunity to use something like Détente Mediation instead of going to court way back then."
I want spouses to have a better way than my parents did to manage the legal, financial, and emotional issues that are all wrapped up in divorce. That's why I designed Détente Mediation for family law. It grew out of my twenty-plus year legal career dealing with conflict and settlement.
I've been fortunate to have had diverse experience in law. After graduation from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, I moved to Washington, D.C. where I interned in the U.S. Department of Justice Civil Litigation Branch, worked on Capitol Hill as a staff assistant to Senator Paula Hawkins, and lobbied Congress for large chemical companies on Superfund issues.
My law degree is from the American University's Washington College of Law. I first learned about the courts during law school while interning for a D.C. Superior Court judge. I was a national semi-finalist in Moot Court competition. But above all I am most proud of my representation of war veterans in the Public Interest Law Clinic who appealed their denial of service connected injuries to the Board of Veterans Appeals. The injured veterans were some of the most deserving, kindest, gentlest people I ever met. I was honored to have served them as they had served our country.
I moved back to my home state of Florida where I am also licensed, and then to Texas in 1990 when I married my husband. I was a trial lawyer with several prominent Dallas and Fort Worth firms over the next fifteen years, successfully handling auto and trucking accidents, medical malpractice, defective products, business and contract disputes, employment cases, slip and falls, workers' injuries, and mediation. I was certified as a mediator by the Academy of Attorney Mediators in 2000. Although I embraced litigation and trial for many of my clients, I recognized by 2003 that for a significant percentage, litigation was unnecessary, added little value at significant expense, and frequently it simply delayed resolution. Traditional mediation often came too late.
"They would ask me, 'Why did I have to go through that?' Many clients were not happy with the litigation process even if they won at trial. They were especially upset if, after years of litigation and tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, they settled on the courthouse steps for virtually the same amount we predicted from the beginning it would take. We needed a new way to resolve disputes that we could implement from the start."
I thought I'd found it when collaborative law arrived on the scene. I became a pioneer in its development. In addition to being a charter Director and the Vice-President of Public Education and Membership from 2004 - 2007 of the Texas Collaborative Law Council (now The Global Collaborative Law Council), I co-drafted with civil collaborative law guru Larry Maxwell, J.D., and SMU professor and author of "Avoiding Litigation" Sherrie Abney, the initial Texas Collaborative Law Council's Participation Agreement and Protocols of Practice which have been used and adapted all over the world. I was a founding member and Secretary of the Dallas Bar Association's Collaborative Law Section, and was an integral part of the International Academy of Collaborative Professional's (IACP) first Civil Committee, chaired the Medical Issues Subcommittee, and served as the Civil Desk Editor of the Collaborative Review which was published worldwide by IACP. When the American Bar Association formed a Collaborative Law Committee for its Dispute Resolution Section, I was there. I became an ABA liaison to the CPR Institute in New York, and a founding member of the ABA's Psychology of Conflict Subcommittee. I am a member of the Tarrant County Family Law Bar Association. I have given seminars around the U.S., taught law students, and spoken internationally about collaborative law.
Collaborative law serves many, many people and it is much better than litigation. But for those who do not want to lose their lawyers if they don't settle, cannot afford the process, or who want to do their negotiations themselves with professional help but without lawyers, collaborative law is not always the best fit. I saw a need for an early, cost effective, negotiation process that would be an improvement to mediation, and I believed the the clients who would benefit the most from such a service would be divorcing couples and their children. So I developed "collaborative mediation" and founded Détente Collaborative Mediation Services for Family Law, LLC to do just that.
"Collaborative mediation" combines the best and most successful strategies of collaborative law with the pure simplicity and cost effectiveness of mediation so more people can benefit without losing their lawyers (if they have them). So far, we have had 100% success with couples reaching agreements in Détente collaborative mediations. I am humbled that the foundational structure of Détente Collaborative Mediation has been used as a model for a fledgling conflict resolution process that has been introduced in Africa by a local collaborative colleague of mine. If there is someone you care about who is getting divorced, please tell them about Détente Collaborative Mediation. They and their children will thank you for the rest of their lives.
The top attorneys in the country voted Stacey Langenbahn one of the Best Lawyers in America 2012 and her fellow lawyers voted her Top Attorney in Tarrant County for Alternative Dispute Resolution. Stacey would be honored to serve as your mediator in a Détente Collaborative Mediation.
Linda Miller-deBerard, L.C.S.W. - A.C.P.*
"My parents divorced when I was seventeen and they have tried to give the gift of being amicable to one another. They made these efforts because of being in the middle of my uncles' horrendous divorce and custody battles. If both of these couples had resources available to help them define and obtain the goal of being amicable it would have greatly benefited them, my cousins, my brother and me, and our quality of life to this day."
I have over twenty-five years of counseling experience. Throughout the years, I have worked with many people whose primary reason for counseling involved going through divorce and the trauma caused by the litigation system itself. I have seen these clients in anguish not only because of feelings of grief and loss, but also because the decisions they end up with from the judge do not consider them or their child's other parent's needs or individual situations.
I have a Masters degree in Social Work, and am a licensed Clinical Social Worker with an Advanced Clinical Practitioner credential. The study of Social Work is based on systems theory: how individuals affect the system of the family and vice versa. I received my training in cognitive therapy at St. Paul Medical Center in Dallas. A cognitive model teaches awareness of thoughts that contribute to emotional discomfort. I am also certified in couples counselng with the Imago Relationship Institute. IRI teaches communication without judgment, criticism, or blame to give people a better understanding of one another. I also have training in solution focused couples counseling.
I have completed mediation training in Texas and have six years of training and experience in collaborative divorce. I integrate and apply all of these models to help couples divorce in the most amicable way and help them find solutions that work best for their unique situations. For many years I have believed that there should be better options available to couples going through divorce and family law matters. I'm honored to work with Stacey Langenbahn who shares that belief and brings years of collaborative law experience to her unique model of Détente Mediation.
*Stacey Langenbahn and Linda Miller-deBerard are independent professionals. They have each been married over twenty years and are raising teenagers.
Contact us:
Stacey H. Langenbahn, J.D.: shl@DetenteMediation.com or 817.283.5100
Linda Miller-DeBerard, L.C.S.W.: lmillerdeb@gmail.com or 817.909.1820 or http://www.ccpcounseling.com
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