There's one truth in divorce: The more you fight, the more it costs. Save your money, your sanity, and your family by reaching early agreements with the professional help of our collaborative divorce mediator team of a family law attorney and divorce coach. Just say "no" to court.
Benefits of Collaborative Divorce Mediation:
- Mediating a divorce costs on average 75% to 80% less than divorce litigation
- Save money and time by negotiating a divorce directly with each other rather than through lawyers
- Low risk of miscommunication
- Get more accomplished faster than in family divorce court
- Divorcing parties are more likely to honor terms they have reached by agreement
The best predictor of whether there will be anything left to split after divorce other than debt and family law attorneys' fees is how reasonable you, your spouse, and your divorce attorneys are (or are not).
The practical reality of divorce is painful in more than one way. Not only is divorce incredibly hard emotionally, but to add insult to injury, every dollar you and your spouse spend fighting each other reduces the amount both of you have left to split in the end and to provide for your family.
No one, not even the best and most experienced family divorce lawyer, can precisely predict the total cost if you take your divorce to court. Even a simple, low conflict divorce, with a short hearing on child support and temporary spousal support, no depositions, no experts, no trial, some negotiating, and agreement on final divorce decree terms, could easily take an efficient divorce lawyer a minimum of around 20 hours and probably more like 30 plus over many months. You can do the math at divorce attorney's' hourly rates of $250 to $800 or more to get a range of what it costs to litigate even a simple divorce, and don't forget to double it if both spouses have lawyers! Click here to find out how you can choose the role of divorce lawyers in collaborative mediation.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is not coming to divorce mediation soon enough. Conflict generated by divorce litigation, especially unnecessary conflict, causes frustration, delay, and dramatically increased divorce expense. It's not hard to see how being an instigator, vengeful, and mean and/or having an uncooperative family divorce lawyer can cost tens of thousands of dollars in divorce attorneys' fees on both sides. Family law judges do not reward that kind of behavior and it makes your spouse and his or her divorce attorney not want to cooperate. Why would you ever deplete your retirement accounts or blow through children's college funds fighting in court if you know there is a better way to end a marriage?
Mediating a divorce or a child custody dispute saves 75% to 80% over family law litigation so you keep more money in your pocket.
You will save money and time with Détente collaborative divorce mediation over litigation. Here's why. Communications in divorce litigation go like this (assuming no phone tag): Spouse 1 talks to Divorce Lawyer 1, who calls Divorce Lawyer 2. Divorce Lawyers 1 and 2 discuss the topic. Divorce Lawyer 2 talks to Spouse 2, then calls Divorce Lawyer 1, who talks to Spouse 1. This gets expensive fast, especially when the two divorce lawyers talk to each other. If you've ever played the game where a sentence gets whispered from one person to another and in the end it does not in any way resemble what it was at the beginning, then you'll especially appreciate the danger of this kind of family lawyers' communication in a divorce.
In contrast, in Détente divorce mediation everyone hears the same thing at the same time. Spouses or parents talk directly to each other with the help of a family law attorney-mediator and divorce coach (marriage/family counselor). We teach you a new and effective way to communicate constructively. As an added bonus, you will learn and practice in every session Détente's exclusive five step, easy to remember dispute resolution method called T.R.U.C.E. that works anytime, anywhere, Conflict is reduced in divorce mediation because there is less miscommunication and more cooperation. Bottom line: You get more done in less time.
Plus, you won't end up hating each other. Imagine being able to sit comfortably with each other at your child's football game, graduation, wedding, and birth of grandchildren. You will be able to attend together a parent-teacher meeting and cooperatively co-parent your children. These are just some of the reasons educated spouses, partners, and parents are choosing Détente divorce mediation first when considering their options for how to separate, get divorced, or resolve child support, child custody, visitation, property division, parenting plan, and post-divorce conflicts.
Unlike in litigation, at Détente Collaborative Mediation you control how much your separation, divorce, or post-divorce resolution costs.
Costs of divorce lawyers in traditional divorce can spin out of control very rapidly. Don't let that happen to you! Détente Collaborative Mediation is completely voluntary and the number of times you utilize our collaborative divorce mediation services is up to you. Most couples finish mediating in four to six sessions, but it could take you less or more depending on the complexity of your situation and how well you work together.
Required Nonrefundable Flat Fee for Two Mediation Sessions and Two Individual Interviews: Each Détente Collaborative Mediation session is two hours. Your flat fee of $2850.00 payable in advance covers a required minimum of two mediation sessions, and a forty-five minute individual interview with each party (total of one and a half hours) which is usually done after the first mediation session. This flat fee covers both of you and both your attorney-mediator and your divorce coach, but not other neutral professionals whom you may wish to engage.
Deposit: In addition to the flat fee, clients will pay a renewable $700.00 deposit to cover reasonable out-of-session fees such as to review documents, communicate with you or your attorneys, research an answer to your questions or issues if necessary, and coordinate with any other professionals who are assisting you. The deposit also goes toward fees for the mediator to prepare a report after each session summarizing your agreements and to provide an agenda for the next meeting so there are no surprises. At the end, the mediator will draft a mediated settlement agreement with all the terms that a lawyer can easily incorporate into a final divorce decree. We will ask you to renew the deposit each time it reaches a zero balance. Any portion of the $700.00 not used will be returned to you at the conclusion of the divorce mediation.
Additional Mediation Sessions: Each additional mediation session with the attorney/mediator and divorce coach is $1050.00 payable in advance.
If you think this is expensive, then please ask any divorce lawyer you consult with to give you a range of how much he or she believes your case will cost in total on your side alone, and then with your spouse's lawyer's fees, to take it all the way through trial. Most of the time, parties in Détente Collaborative Mediation have been able to complete their negotiations and get a mediated settlement agreement for less than the amount of money you would have to pay divorce lawyers before they will even start on your case.
Other costs to consider in your planning:
- Hiring one or two mediation-friendly family lawyers on an hourly fee basis to provide an independent review your agreements, and do your divorce petition and decree paperwork (these family lawyers might or might not attend your mediation sessions)
- Sharing a neutral professional in collaborative mediation but only if needed (Certified Divorce Financial Planner (CDFP), Certified Public Accountant (CPA), business valuation, tax, real estate, mortgage, parenting plan, child specialist, etc.) vs. hiring opposing experts if you litigate
- Temporary court orders
- Taxes
- Court filing fees
- Qualified Domestic Relations Orders ("QDRO") fees needed to divide pensions and 401Ks
- Power of Attorney, title, and deed and other ancillary document preparation fees
- Real estate commissions, closing costs for sale or refinance of family residence or other marital real property
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